Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it away or eat it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It’s just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on, and be better for it, and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal.
I was born and raised in Grand Forks, North Dakota, which automatically makes me a minority. There aren’t many of us that are natives of North Dakota. In my younger years I was a die hard rhythmic gymnast. I spent the better part of 30 hours a week at the gym, which taught me a lot about goal setting, commitment, and determination. To be clear, it taught me about these things, doesn’t mean I’m all that great at them anymore. When I was 20 I moved to Atlanta, Georgia. I became an “adult” in ATL, and had a pretty great life. I had amazing friends, roommates, two very memorable jobs that taught me a lot, some pretty great relationships with incredible guys, and some pretty bad ones too. All in all I was a normal 20 something having a great time.
When I was 28 years old tragedy struck my family. My childhood home burned down and we lost my mother and three dogs. I will be forever thankful to have my father in my life as it is entirely possible we could have lost him too. I realized how much I took family for granted until I got that awful phone call at 6am on February 25th. I was lost for awhile. I packed up and went back to North Dakota trying to reconcile what had happened to us and how. I finally decided the best way to heal was to “run as far as ‘I could’ in the direction of my best and happiest dreams.” I wanted to travel and see the world, do what I could to make a difference around me, and live the best that I could, in the place I was at. All this searching and healing brought me to the place I am now, not to say I don’t have more to work on, but I am happy, living in this paradise, with this wonderful man who shares my dreams with me. A far cry from where I was one, five, ten years ago.
So the point…
I am writing this blog for a few reasons. First and foremost, so that we can keep our families updated on our life. Second, I will be going through getting my own residency, and having a child in Ecuador. Search as I may I have not been able to find much useful information to help me. So I will journal our journey in the hopes that others may find it helpful. Finally, because I’m a cheese ball and keep a journal and thought it may be nice to share my thoughts with others, especially those I love.